Mother Monster : All of Self and Less of Thee

Mother Monster. Lady Gaga refers to herself with this name at the beginning of her latest hit single: Born This Way. (Yes, this link doesn't go directly to her music video, two reasons: 1. I like these Youtube fellows, they make good covers, and 2. You can Youtube her actual music video for youself - be warned, it's one of a kind) And by one of a kind - I mean - a very freaky intro, Lady Gaga riding a unicorn at one point, and a mildly disturbing message.

I am all about loving yourself. Please, let's love you and me and everyone. We are all different and unique and all that exciting whatnot that makes us lovely humans who we are. One stanza in partular bothers me: "I was born this way, God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, Baby, I was born this way!"

Anyone else not totally comfortable with this one? Ponder with me how many millions of younger adolescents are seeing this video and thinking: I am who I am because I'm born this way. And, however that may be, it's an excellent way to be.

Long gone are the days of self-improvement. Of wanting to be a better or different person. Of striving for more than self-gratification.

While I enjoy a good random dance party to pop music as much as the next kid, I can't help but notice what the industry is telling us.

How about Mike Posner's chorus in Cooler than me?

I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this But you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me

Or Ke$sha's We R who we R?

You know We're superstars We R who we R!

Imagine a world where we are all so completely self-absorbed in who we are and how great it is to be me that that becomes our focus. Scary, eh?

How much better off could we be if we gave glory to God for who we are and move on? Because I am born this way, I am not perfect. Saying "I am born this way" begins to glorify me, and allow me to be lazy because this is just who I am - I was born this way.

As people, do we need a society built on exaultation of self?

Personally, I'd rather not live such a shallow existence. As Christians, what does this tell the world? I'm reminded of the old hymn that humbly ends: none of self and all of Thee.

Britian's Talent and a Drive Through Rural Arkansas

This is my view heading home from school. A nice, flat, scenery-less expanse. Just, me, the road, and the sky. And a few fields. And usually an unreasonable number of semi-trucks.

This weekend, I road-tripped home, and on the way back I drove. I hate driving, specifically interstate driving. It makes me all nervous and twitchy and, let's be honest, I don't need to be any more twitchy than I already am. But, alas, I drove. For four hours I battled the blustering winds and the fierce fatigue and speeded my way back to school while my older brother slept and his bride-to-be wrote thank you cards. Somewhere in the boonies of Arkansas, I found myself stuck behind a semi. He wasn't driving slow per se; it was simply the meer fact of being stuck driving behind this hulking blue piece of metal that perterbed me. This produced a dilema for my interstate-abhorring driving abilities (of which are very limited) - to pass or not to pass? I could not decide. Granted, I cannot decide on a good many issues, but this seemed like one that could really use some resolution.

I decided pass. Easier said than done on a two lane road. But, I decided and spent the subsequent half hour attempting - unsuccessfully - to pass him. At one point, I pulled into the other lane with no oncoming traffic to be seen (and the view out of my windshield gives new meaning to the phrase: "as far as the eye can see"), and I hit the gas. As I got a little less than halfway, I saw a car approaching, I checked my speedometer, and proceeded to panic. In that order, probably in slow motion. Luckily, the other lane only contained the semi since I proceeded to brake and veer back behind him - knuckles white with very awake and alert siblings.

I should have gone for it. For a good portion of the remaining drive, I pondered the concept of going for things - grades, relationships, dreams, whatever. Instead, I saw my opportunity, thought about it, and said "nah, I'll get another chance to pass later"

Britian has some Talent. Their show (similar to America's Got Talent) always seems full of suprises. This fellow went for it - and left me flabbergasted.

He had one shot to live out his dream. His dream was completely unexpected. I love seeing people do incredible things - especially completely unexpected dreams. But, if we skip our shot thinking, "well, I'll just take the next one" when do we stop panicking just as we approach the side of the truck and just keep going?

I never passed that semi. Shortly after my failed attempt, I stopped at a gas station and never saw the truck again. In my four hours of driving, I learned a nice lesson - re-taught to me by the most unexpected singing voice I've ever heard - follow through and go for whatever it is you want to be doing. To be completely honest, life isn't worth sitting behind the semi when we could go a little faster.

To my Dear Friends of Facebook,

To My Dear Friends of Facebook,

In typical college student on break fashion, I spend a fair amount of time on Facebook. Facebook is wonderful world - it keeps me entertained for hours, it allows me to keep up with old friends, it insures I know everyone's business without having to talk to them - all in all, it's a dream come true for most of us. But, I would assume that you know this since we're "friends."

But, it's time to be completely honest about what is tainting this informative little virtual world...

I do not care about your favorite band.
I do not care that you want me to care.
I do not care that you think this band is the best band ever formed.
Actually, the fact that you've updated your Facebook page every hour to proclaim your undying dedication to said band and how I too should follow your passion just makes me hate your music.

I do not need to view 20 song lyrics from the same crappy band to know your mood.
I understand that you're social - but you needn't attend every event ever created. (We are all attending 11:11:11 on 11/11/11 whether or not we really want to - no need to rsvp)
Please understand, some things simply do not need to be documented in photograph form- 30 identical times.

We have an overposting and an oversharing problem. Please, share one of these fun facts. Please share two. But, people - people please - this is TMI (Too much info, for you new kids out there), and it's beginning to drive me crazy.

Let's stop this info-overload. Thank you.

Lights Out

Count the electrical outlets in your room.
My not-so-huge-but-not-obnoxiously-tiny dorm room has approximately 9. Not to mention one outlet has a power strip connected to it.

It's rather late on a Friday night, or Saturday morning I suppose if you want to get into technicalities (which I don't, it's late...anywho). My phone is plugged in and charging. My laptop is plugged in and I'm using one of my two ethernet cable outputs. I have a lamp, blowdryer, coffee maker, microwave, Zune HD charger, speakers, digital piano, and a mini fridge all sucking up energy. Oh, and my rather bright flourescent overhead light it allowing my room to be brighter than 2pm on a June afternoon.

What if I didn't have that power?
Look at what you have plugged in - what would you be doing if your power disappeared?

Last night about half of campus and the surrounding city lost power. Driving through campus and seeing that suddenly the street lights stop and a dark abyss of dorms and parking lots loom in the distance might just be one of the creepiest moments of my life.

I have never in my life noticed how much of a difference light pouring out from behind cheap plastic blinds and pretty curtains makes.

Being forced into utter darkness makes us uncomfortable. Suddenly we're isolated and uneasy and unable to see clearly what's ahead.

Tonight, most people have left campus. We have power, but almost every room is dark, thus it looks pretty similar to last night only with street lights, and I don't feel like a potential apocalypse might be occuring. So, it's better, but still creepy.

I've seen more of the stars in the last two nights than I have in a long time. There's something to remembering that we're all a part of something so much bigger than just our little worlds. Behind each window is a person, with a life and a story and a purpose. Maybe a blackout is an excellent chance to realize that as a people we're so plugged into our world that we forget to unplug every now and then and see the world from a new angle.

Hello? Hello? Is anybody out there?

As a wee child, I had the reputation in my family as being something of a chatterbox. Apparently, I just talked, and talked, and talked. Hard to imagine for you all, I'm sure. But all this chatter wears on a mother's ears and most days my mother would smile and nod and have no earthly idea what was coming out of my mouth. Every so often though, I would get that sense that all my babbling was being ignored, and I would ask my mother: "Are you listening to me?"

Being the wonderful mother that she is and not wishing to lie to her daughter, she always replied with: "No, I'm not." I would then continue to talk as if the exchange had never occured.



I just wanted to talk. I was curious if mother was listening to me, but I did not really care if she was or was not.



So often I catch myself asking people questions and not listening to the answers, or finishing a conversation and realizing just how much I talked.



So often it seems that we care more about the quantity of our words than their quality, or we're just throwing out empty words to avoid silence.

And, even more often, we care more about what can we say instead of what someone else could share. You know those people - the ones that have their next sentence/story/response ready while you're still trying to speak.



This summer in my Bible readings I noticed so many writers calling out to God: "Are you listening? Do you hear me?"

We want to be heard, to know that our pains, struggles, joys, and triumphs are being acknowledged.

It seems to me that we talk about talking quite a bit. But, how often to we talk about listening?



My question is this -

in all the jumble, are we listening?

Or do we hear words and never take them in?

Are we listening for God or are we just yelling at him to listen to us?

Are we straining our ears to really listen to people?

my young self didn't care about being listened to - I was all about the sheer quantity of things to say, but in all my talking, I was never listening. I was not even hearing anything around me. Maybe it's time instead of barking at God to listen to us, we take a moment to try and even hear Him.

Fresh Start

As a wee child, my elementary school posted the list of students in each class a couple of weeks before the beginning of the year. I think - I'm not completely positive because all I remember is begging my mother to take me to look for the lists on a daily basis starting sometime probably in July. I loved the first day of school. Something about packing fresh boxes of crayons, tidy bags of supplies, and stacks of blank, untouched paper just got me excited. I could not wait to pack up my bag and head to that first day of class and meet my teacher and see my friends.

Now, a decade later, I'm not quite as excited. Do not get me wrong, I still love school. My inner nerd still comes out sometimes eagerly finishing my homework. I still want to learn and discover, but I no longer enjoy that first day of classes.

I hate having to get new supplies, meet new teachers, meet new peers, and readjust. (Maybe I'm just becoming old and stuck in my ways already. Probably not the best scenario. Anywho.)

Christmas break was a glorious four week holiday. My new and improved schedule usually involved a minimum of 10 hours of sleep and a maximum productivity of about two tasks being accomplished. Tomorrow, since it is already almost 1:30am, I am facing about six hours of sleep and having to complete at least four classes (and the homework some determined teacher will inevitably assign).

To say the least, I am not excited.

On the flip side, I am pumped for a few aspects of tomorrow.
Here's what I am excited about:
Tomorrow is a fresh start. Tomorrow I am not behind in a single class. Tomorrow is a new semester with new opportunity. This semester I have more hours, harder classes, and a job. Oh, and I have a thing called a social life. This spring is looking a little rough. Just a smidge. If we're being honest - which I suppose the blog title implies we are - I am a little nervous. To say the least, I'm a little overbooked for this semester. But, I am so excited to see what happens. I also have big plans for this spring. People have come in and out of my life in a way that I can only describe as a God thing, and for that I am so thankful and so excited to see where that takes me. Tomorrow starts a new semester. It starts my life as Kelsey - college freshman semester two. Kelsey- the RA. Kelsey - the ambitious double major. And, Kelsey - the friend.

I know it's a long night my dedicated readers. You probably have class tomorrow too. I have no clue what the day will hold, or the future, but that's the beauty of life. We never know. So, I am going to go to bed and hopefully awaken with some of my youthful peppy-ness and tomorrow might just be an excellent day. Tomorrow, my friends, is a fresh start.

Hum Along

Hey there folks. See? You knew I'd post again eventually.

Actually, I'll pause here for you to let out your sigh of disappointment: this is going to be a pretty short post. I'm working on other posts, promise, but the exciting world of sleep and relaxation has kept me from doing much of anything lately.

Moving on...we have little to get through, but none of us want to listen to me ramble off excuses as to why there aren't more posts on here. I mean, would it be so hard to have thrown a few words, maybe a picture, a thoughtful song lyric, something up here? No, no I suppose it wouldn't have been, but this my friends, this is how life works. Think of it as a poorly planned cliffhanger - just waiting to see what topic I'll come up with next! See? Aren't we all much more excited now? Now, seriously, on to my (very) brief point...


Tonight, I was surfing around the internet (as every good college student does on a nightly basis), and I came across one of my friends. (Okay, so we don't talk terribly often now, but at one point we were pretty good friends, anyway - not the point) He is trying to make it in the music industry. I listened to some of his music, walked away, and continued to Hum Along to one of his latest songs.

This made me happy. So, tonight, let's celebrate the small successes in life - like finding a song that's a little catchy and different. Enjoy.

Feral Oath's Hum Along